Not so very long ago, a man stepped across his doorway for the first time in eight years. He blinked at the sun and thought, “I haven’t been missing much…”

Life was a lot better underground. He found the sociological behaviors of the worms intriguing.

He wondered… how could simple organisms be so gosh darn gross and ugly.

The only logical answer was evolution because God only makes beautiful things.

It was so ugly it really only had one option. “You’ll be needing plastic surgery,” he told it.

The surgeon assured the pygmy goat that after the plastic surgery it would look just as tall as a normal goat.

The pygmy goat was relieved; he had always been envious of taller goats like LeBaaan James, but the chance to stand among them as an equal was more than he could have dreamed.

If he learned anything from LeBaaan James it was that an acting career was easy to obtain and easy to perfect.

He then strived to star in Steven Spielberg’s new action flick.

All he had to do was to convince Steven that he was a human. It was harder than it sounded.

“Steven, please!” he cried, desperately longing to be loved and accepted. “I’m human! I swear!”

“Human?” Steven stuttered. I nodded, “Human!” He crowed in triumph and, throwing his arms around me, embraced me like a brother.

Unfortunately, I was wrong.


These stories are collected from two evenings of collective story-telling at the theme house. Authors are credited in the tags.


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